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Archive for November 9th, 2009

The other night during the girls’ avoiding going to bed chit/chat the sentance was uttered, “[certain family member who shall remain nameless] told us we are oops babies.”

Oops Babies.

This is not the first time this [family memeber who shall remain nameless] has over stepped her their bounds.  It is not the first time they have opened their mouth and told my kids things they had no business telling my kids.  All because they felt my kids should know and didn’t agree with my parenting decisions.

But Oops Babies? Seriously?

I don’t care who you are, you don’t ever tell a child they are an Oops baby.  I know that it was said as a derogatory remark against me and/or their father (mostly me).  I mean, not every baby out there is planned for or at the right time.  And does it matter if we planned for them at that exact time? They are loved and wanted.

I had to explain to them that the comment wasn’t meant to hurt them, but was made in the hopes it would get back to me and hurt me.  (It pissed me off).  I had to explain to the girls that plans aren’t always written in stone.  The planning doesn’t matter, it’s the journey and the love and caring they’ve had along the way.

When it was said, my first instinct, as a mother, was to protect my girls and in protecting them, I wanted to attack the source of the stupidity that had put that hurtful idea in their heads.  I wanted to call [family member who shall remain nameless, unless you want to name her meddling, coniving hateful *ahem*] and give her them a piece of my mind.

Then I wanted to call a different familymember who is removed from the situation and get their take on it.

But I didn’t.  I walked away from it.  The remark was said in the hopes it would piss me off and stir up a whole lot of drama.  If I reacted, then it would be playing into her their hands. I didn’t need to make a big scene out of this. I needed to just blow it off and be the bigger person.

And I need to remind the girls that what [family member who shall remain nameless, but not absent from their life] said it doesn’t make it true and it doesn’t change what truly matters.

Planned or not, they are loved.